Sometimes

I start to think of what could have been

You never blink, so the world flickers back at you

It looks at you, and then it shuts down

Sometimes

I start to think of what is

Have you ever dreamt of living or crossing it off your list?

You breathe but you are dying with every breath.

And you thought love was the only contradiction alive

Sometimes

I start to think of what was

This one time you called for red, I gave you your own blood to taste

Not like you could tell the difference, not like you ever will

For cynics preach sacrifice, you sought defiance too

Sometimes

I start to think of what will be

The constellations will go crazy, the rings will catch fire

You will call me by some other name and for that I will despise you forever

We will visit ancient ruins and try to find ourselves in the past

The bookmarks will fade into the words, and we will be lost forever

Sometimes

I start to think, but then I stop

And I have to start all over again

Bickering thoughts and tangerine tongues, I forgive you every time

When I see your velvet lips and those burning eyes

Don’t I forgive you every time?

Sometimes

I think about breaking in

If you sing eulogies to the night and hymns to the mornings

The tone deaf skies will stir from their silence

Don’t ask me how the notes are embroidered into those clouds

You wrote ballads and blues, and you turned me into music

Sometimes

I break in

I make you dry your tears on concrete, till you promise to buy me back

I make you walk on wet tiles, till you balance the beams of your words

I tell you to pose like a muse for his poet, like a prophet to the agnostic

Sometimes

I think about breaking through

Of writing about the food that’s in my fridge.

Of talking to strangers and fidgeting with the disposition of colours

Sometimes

You ask me about my business, what I have in mind

And I tell you that I sell mirrors

in the city of the blind

(Last stanza is by Urdu Poet Daagh

“Kya Poochho ho hall merey karobaar ka

Aaeeney bechta hoon andhon ke sheher mein.”)

7 Feb 2011